Here is a picture of me hunting for the newest NHL rumours...P4
Hi folks. I must hurry because I am multitasking here. I am hunting/eating/talking simultaneously so I must pace myself or I may choke like the Sens in last year's Cup Final. Ok this is what I am hearing from some of my most TRUSTED sources...P1
5:45 AM: Semin is on the block in Washington. The thinking here is that the Caps want to sign Ovechkin long term and they can't afford to do that with Semin on the roster. The Canucks are in this I am told but so too are the Oilers, Wild, Sharks, Leafs, Habs, Sens and Sabres. But other teams will be making offers as well as this could cause huge dominos to fall throughout the league. The Caps want a 1st round pick, a superstar who is 25-30 years old who can dominate NOW plus a goalie who can be a blue chip stopper for years to come. The Canucks are offering Kesler, Bourdon and Schneider but the Leafs are offering Sittler, Salming and Palmateer so it's close. I am also hearing the Habs are in this. Lafleur, Savard and Dryden may be going to the Caps I am hearing but nothing is imminent right now. Caps GM George McPhee just informed my source "Colonel Ruppert the 3rd", who is my goldfish, that "we all need to stay tuned on this" as things are changing every minute with this situation. More to not come later. P2
UPDATE 7:03 AM...8 Western teams will be winning the Cup this season. These teams include Detroit, Colorado, Anaheim, San Jose, Calgary, St. Louis, Chicago, Minnesota and Columbus. So much talent here that I will wait until mid week to tell you which players I think will be going where. Oh wait it is mid week. I mean next mid week. See my RUMOUR CHART for more info as the DEADLINE approaches. I just heard from an anonymous source who works for a team in the West that a team in the NORTHEAST is preparing to trade a top dman to a top team in the CENTRAL. This rare NORTHEAST/CENTRAL trade will be having a huge impact on later trades I am told by no one who is connected to anything to do with the NHL. P3
UPDATE 8:34 AM...I am hearing from my Leaf sources who are all Leaf fan season ticket holders that...trades are going to be made in the next month or so. JFJ is rumoured to be replaced by Steve Simmons who currently writes for the Toronto Star. Apparently the team feels he has the best ideas to move the team forward. Assisting him will be super expert Bob McCown who is a host for THE FAN 590 in Toronto who knows nothing about hockey. The Leafs are going with the old REVERSE PSYCH approach. The less you know the more the team grows and becomes better. It all makes sense. I am hearing JAGR for McCabe is on the burner right now but if it sits too long then it may catch on fire. More or less may be added to this trade by mid week and and I am hearing a team from the Southeast may be in this as well. Apparently McCabe is very popular in the Southeast and the teams there want him to do can opener commercials. P3
UPDATE 9:46 AM...Hossa is on the block and Waddell is shopping him around at various Home Depot's in a shopping cart. I am told that he could be moved at "any time" next mid week to a south/north/east/west/central/daylight savings time team but more dominos ultimate deep dish pizzas need to fall. Teams are feeling "traderish" and want to get something done over the American T-giving weekend. As I stuff myself with turkey with 10 lbs of gravy and my man teets expand quicker than Keith Tkachuk's gut...I have come to a revelation. I need to watch Corner Gas for the 5999th time on my Super High Def Plasma Surround Sound TV. Then I will watch NFL Football and eat more followed by more hours of NHL Centre Ice. Me, Jules, the fake wife, the ball licking dog, the tourettes ridden son and the hyper hypo daughter are all having a great time eating more food than the entire country of Mexico has ever produced. Hossa to the Pens is what I am hearing but I can't say more than that at this point due to the fact that, as all of you know...all players, agents and GM's trust me with their lives and I need to be as imminent as I possibly can so as to not appear not imminent in what I say. So Hossa is on the block and I will watch this and not update you the rest of the day. Crosby is involved...Check out my fake podcast at around 4 where I will scratch my fat man teets and sing old Bon Jovi songs. "It's my teets it's now or never, I aint gonna eat forever...I just want to eat turkey with my knife, it's my fake wife". Many other teams are in this as well like the Lightning. Lecavalier? "The Habs will get Hossa if they can't get Vinny around mid week" I was just told by Bob Gainey's paper boy named...Chris Nilan. P3
UPDATE 10:22 AM...I am hearing from my pocket lint that a big blockbuster trade is in the works. The Bruins/Caps/Flyers/Devils/Sharks/Pens/Stars are all involved. Names like Savard, Gagne, Parise, Marleau, Crosby, Modano are all involved. A source just informed me that around mid week 2 weeks from now that a team from the southeast may be aggressive and add a top dman from the West which may play into this whole thing. But it all depends if Jagr goes to Toronto for Raycroft and McCabe I am told by no one. Dominos need to fall for more dominos to happen. I will stay on top of this for all of you as I eat my turkey and hunt. I am going to be HUNTING all damn day long all the way until mid week next week. I have my fisher price walkie talkie in 1 hand and my fork in the other and I will hunt until I can come up with more rumours. Because that is what I do here at Peklund. I HUNT day and night and wake myself up at 6 AM and pretend that someone important has called me. And you all believe me because I am PEKLUND THE RUMOUR HUNTER. Indiana Jones can KISS MY ASS. I always find the HOLY GRAYLE of rumours. I hear nothing. I am never ever right. But you must still give me all your money because...I HUNT. Thanks a million, nothing imminent, more to not come later and if you stay tuned then you are as dumb as a bag of rocks! P5
Some quick hit BS rumours...
Crosby to Leafs P2, Habs P1, Oilers P3, Sens P4
Malkin to Wings P2, Leafs P3, Habs P4, Avs P1
Ryan Whitney to Rangers P1, Devils P2, Caps P3, Wild P4
Ray Whitney to Panthers P2, Rangers P1, Habs P4, Leafs P3
Whitney Houston to Stars P2, Pens P1, Oilers P3, Bobby Brown P4
UPDATE 12:00...I am hearing nothing from no one that there will be no trades made until the dominos I have posted happen. So it could be awhile until anything is IMMINENT. But GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY because I need it. I need to eat more food to have bigger man teets so I can watch more NHL CENTRE ICE of my Super High Def Plasma 300 inch screen tv and watch 450 episodes of Corner Gas and then brag about it. Folks, I have no life. You all know that. So give me all your money ok? It is the right thing to do. Me and the fake fam are going to go cruising around Philly with Marty/Danny/Jules/Billy and maybe do a Thelma and Louise re-enactment off a nearby Cliff Claven. I mean it gets boring hurling the fake fam into Niagara Falls all the time. Thank you for your support and more to not come mid week...P3
Here is a video of Eklund enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with is fake fam. Enjoy...
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